Generik:
The annual Pass the Peg-Legged Stooge Race at the company picnic drew fewer contestants than usual this year, especially when Frank from marketing threatened to "take out... with extreme prejudice" any of the VP's who usually ended up winning the race through virtue of their stock option influence on the panel of judges.

Lanzman:
"Dude, I got another one! Man, security at the old folks' home sucks!"

HoneyT:
We now return to "Scott Hamilton's Funniest Home Videos"!

Matteus:
This has to be THE weirdest relay race I've ever seen!

ABServo:
Sorry, Steve, but isn't this kind of a weird place to practice the Lindy hop??

Agent_Moldy:
o/Hold me close, young Tony Dannnzaaa...o/

Chebby:
"Damn! This greased midget wrestling competition sure is tough!!" "Come on, man, tag me! Let me at that little bugger!"

chilwil:
Curly finds the Amish, who have put up with generations of tourists who want a souvenir for their faux 'i understand american natives' collection, are not so understanding after an eye poke.