Shandi:
Never mind getting caught in the rain, or the sound of the ocean, or the taste of champaigne; give me two pina coladas, one for each hand! Never mind the glasses, just hand me that pitcher!

rickubis:
My Tee Lodg Bolls was disqualified from the "Iron Man Jug-o'-Jizz" event (benefitting the local sperm bank) when it was discovered that he'd had a vasectomy 3 years previously, and was therefore sterile.

IMissMST3K:
"Here you go, Nurse. You said to fill it, right? Well, don't you think the cloudiness is a bit, well... odd?!"

Generik:
It was rather surprising when Jimmy Ling won the grand prize for collecting the most door to door sperm donations over the Memorial Day weekend, but after all, it *was* West Hollywood, and a lot of things are surprising in West Hollywood.

Lanzman:
After six months of effort, Seymour finally felt confident that they wouldn't laugh at his deposit down at the sperm bank.

IllegalityGirl:
"This came outta me!"

Steve_Reeves:
The truth behind Jackie Chan? By drinking large quantities of white, latex paint, he gets so stoned he doesn't even *know* he's doing those things!

teambanzai:
o/~ Lowered expectationso/~ Well ladies, if you want kids and A LOT of them. I'm your man. FOR TED PUSH #354 ON YOUR PHONE.

JAUSTRALIS:
Then take your cup to the nurse outside the door. 'ok..here you go!'

MrAtomik:
Wonders why he has no more friends after the "I'll buy the pitcher tonight, guys" incident.

nashtbrutusandshort:
"I like pina coladas. See? And getting caught in the rain. Love me. LOOOOOOOOVVVVEEE MEEEEEEEEEE!"